Tonight I discovered a particular brand of TV crack known as High School Reunion. By next Tuesday night at 9:00 pm, I hope I've forgotten what time it's on or else there goes another hour of my life I'll never get back.

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Robyn's lastest OFB entry stirred some feelings in me. For the majority of my life, I used my weight as my reason/excuse for not putting myself out there in the dating world. After I lost weight and decided it was time to give life a whirl, I was still pretty convinced I couldn't find someone until I had plastic surgery. Seriously. I thought I'd have to have a tummy tuck and liposuction in a few choice places before a man would really want me. I still thought that even though I'm a smart woman and most people viewed me as confident and sure of myself.

Then I met D. We were introduced by a mutual friend who billed him as being "all about fun". So I had no expectations beyond thinking we might hit it off and maybe have a little 'thing'. I figured he'd be a good way to put myself out there and since he was a friend of a friend, he came prequalified, so to speak. We did indeed hit it off and things progressed. The first night we spent together, as he was working on getting into my pants (he need not have worked so hard; I was a sure thing at that point), he had pushed up my shirt and with a kiss on my stomach, said, "I like your belly." Without hesitation, I responded, "Well, that makes one of us."

It was true. Even after losing 100 pounds, I still didn't like my body at all. All I could see was the remaining fat and the stretch marks and the parts that would never be right. But he didn't and he doesn't. He sees the soft, smooth skin, the curve of my (newly noticable) hip bone, how my breast fits perfectly in his hand. He compliments me all the time, when it's just the two of us and when we're with other people. He says all he has to do is smell me and he gets aroused. He tells me I'm sexy then asks if I know what is my sexiest quality is. I say no so he taps his finger on my forehead.

Before him, I was so self-conscious I'd never been naked in broad daylight with a man. Sometimes I can't believe I'm comfortable enough with my body and with him to walk around naked and even share the shower. But mostly I can't believe I was so sure I'd never be able to find someone who loved me and my body.

Wonderful, loving men are out there, JS, but apparently they don't write for Pl@yboy.