Okay, just a note of caution - I'm whining here and may come off as a bit sullen and self-absorbed. But I want to know if I'm crazy for feeling the way I do or if I'm reactions are natural.

Event #1 – I got an email on Monday from a good friend whose wedding I’m in May 1. She mentioned she had a family shower this past weekend in her hometown and “got some goodies. We got a juice extractor which I'm kind of excited about. And also an electric griddle...we made bacon and eggs on it yesterday a.m., awesome!” This is her second wedding as well as his. She’s in her early thirties, he’s in his late thirties and has two kids. This whole shower just struck me as a gift grab. I mean, who needs a juice extractor? Sure, maybe a health nut, but not her! It rubbed me the wrong way and made me not want to go through any of it. Nothing about this wedding gives the impression of second time around at all. Maybe that's the way it should be, I don't know, but it seems a tad wrong to me.

Event #2 – I got a voice mail at work on Monday around 5:00 pm from another friend. She’s a stay at home mom with a two year old and another on the way. The last time I saw her was two and a half weeks ago when I invited her and my other friends with kids to the circus in our company’s corporate suite (it was my way of getting them all together to tell them I was engaged; invite them to an adult event and they wouldn’t come; include the kids and they’re there). She just left a quick voice mail message, asking me to call her back. When I do, she tells me that her son has pink eye and has been on medication for six days, but it’s still not cleared up. She wants to go to her bell choir practice at church that evening, but the church’s child care won’t take him because of the pink eye. So she’s calling me to see if she can drop him off at my house for just an hour and a half while she’s there. Uh, no. I don’t have a kid-proofed house and I sure as hell don’t want pink eye. I’d no sooner said that then she said, “Oh, I’ve got a call waiting beep and it may be the doctor. Gotta go – bye!” It kind of hurt me that we talked about nothing else but what she wanted from me. There was no chatting, no small talk, no ‘how are things?’, just ‘can you help me?’ This has affected me in that it makes me want a small wedding with only immediate family, no friends. That sounds like it’s a punishment, but really it’s just about me and us and doing something simple and not having to worry about babysitters or what anyone else’s issues are. Does that sound bad?

Event #3 – I get another email today from my engaged friend. She had told me (and a few other friends) that her parents were renting a B&B for her wedding weekend and we were all invited to stay there. Fabulous! The wedding is in a small town and it will be nice to be near her family and not have to worry about reservations elsewhere. Now her email today said: “OH that reminds me, I am going to need a credit card number from you to pay the charges at the B&B for the wedding weekend. I know I had told you that Mom was paying for the whole thing, but I guess I misunderstood her. She is paying for the family rooms. I hope that's not a big deal. I think it will be around $100 a night including tax.” Then within the hour I get another email: “Oops, I just talked to Mom, and she does have them all on her card now, but you can just switch the card when you check in and give them your card. So, I don't need the card now after all. And she said the prices range from $79 to $119 depending on the room. So, if you want the cheapest, she will give you the cheapest since the misunderstanding. Just let me know. She's trying to figure out logistics and who to put in what rooms/suites. D is definitely coming with you right?” Gads. This wedding just got a lot more expensive for me. Not only is the bachelorette party at a local gambling boat in two weeks (where we’re all spending the night at the pricey attached hotel), but there’s the $150 bridesmaid dress (not including alterations and overnight shipping), driving to the wedding (a good three hours away) and a gift on top of this new accommodations charge. And I’ve done all of this before for her when she got married the first time in 1997. I feel awful thinking that way, but it’s true. It really makes me not want to make people jump through these kinds of hoops on my behalf.

Bonus – Event #4 – I just got off the phone with my engaged friend. She called to discuss the accommodations. We talked about another friend/bridesmaid who will be coming from Colorado for the wedding. Because she’s single, the bride-to-be wants to put her in a room with two other single friends. I told her that when I last talked to this other bridesmaid a few weeks ago, she actually mentioned wanting her own room. Well, bride-to-be got pissed that a 34 year old woman doesn’t want to share a room much less a bed with someone she barely knows. She actually used the words “it’s MY wedding day”. The problem is there are no other accommodations in her small hometown so space is indeed limited. (She should have notified people of that up front, but she didn’t – this is the first time I’ve heard of any of this. She’s inviting other couples from my city and there may not be any place for them to stay if they do indeed come.) I suggested she call our friend and ASK her if she’d do the bride the favor of sharing a room, rather than the bride getting indignant and saying our friend had no other choice but to share. Argh. Man, I don’t want to be that person.

Am I crazy to feel the way I do? I feel a bit petty on one hand, like I'm saying, "You're not invited because you don't care enough about me." But that's not it. It's more about not worrying about the bullshit involved with a huge event/operation and more focusing on what's important. To do that, we have to make it smaller scale. I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to rationalize my feelings over these events. I'm not going to make any decisions now based on my feelings of the moment. I'll give it at least a week or two and see if I'm feeling the same way.